Gay Church

Now that you’re legal and you have the license and the ring, the next step is to arrange with the church for the wedding ceremony, right? Right.

In most faith denominations across the country, same-sex couples are not welcome to wed in the chapel, nor are they permitted to benefit from the blessing of the local pastor over the nuptials. There is hope, though, for all the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) folks who have their heart set on a big gay church wedding. There are a few options available in organized religions that believe in marriage equality that will allow you to find a welcoming host for the most important wedding of the year: yours.

Episcopalians Wave the Rainbow Flag

At their recent triennial conference in Salt Lake City, the Episcopal Church voted strongly in favor of allowing same-sex couples to wed in the faith’s wedding services. Just days after the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in favor of a constitutional right to marry the partner of one’s choice regardless of gender difference or similarity, the governing body of the Episcopal faith extended the church’s previous steps toward welcoming the LGBTQ community by recognizing same-sex marriages in the church.

Anglican Communion Worldwide Less Welcoming

The Archbishop of Canterbury, spiritual leader of the 80-million-member Anglican Communion around the world and of which the Episcopal Church is a part, criticized the vote by the Episcopalian conference in the U.S. He predicted “distress for some and ramifications for the Anglican Community as a whole.” The Church of England, also part of the Anglican Communion and which features Queen Elizabeth II as the head of the religion, secured an exemption in 2014 from having to participate in gay wedding ceremonies. This followed the passing of a law by Parliament recognizing same-sex marriage in the country.

Making Equality a Reality

“In 1976, the church promised full and equal claim to LGBTQ members, and we’ve spent years making that resolution a reality,” noted an Episcopal reverend from the Diocese of Los Angeles. “Today’s action is a huge step . . . toward a promised land of a church that fully includes all of its members,” she said in welcoming same-sex weddings in the church.

Among the milestones that the Episcopal Church claims on its journey toward equality are:

• In 2003, the church elected Gene Robinson, who lived in a relationship with his male partner, to be bishop of the Diocese of New Hampshire
• In 2012, it became the biggest American denomination to authorize a liturgy for the use of clergy in blessing same-sex partnerships

Under the new policies, clergy are allowed to opt out of same-sex weddings if they desire.

Teaching of Scriptures?

Others in the Episcopal Church were not as pleased to welcome same-sex marriages into the church. “The teaching of scriptures says marriage itself is between a man and a woman. That’s the teaching of [The Book of Common Prayers] and our catechism,” clarified the dean of the cathedral in Dallas, in explaining his opposition to the vote.

Steps Forward

Ranked as number 14 in number of believers among American organized religions, the American Episcopal organization has made decisions in the past that have rankled members of the much larger worldwide Anglican Communion, including conservative dioceses in the U.S. as well as members in Africa and elsewhere. Regardless, the two million members of the Episcopal Church in the U.S. have witnessed steady progress toward full acceptance for the LGBTQ community in the faith.

Hope for a Future of Inclusion

Many within the Unitarian Universalist faith are open to same-sex marriages as well. Across the country, there are examples of local spiritual communities that are progressive and welcoming to the LGBTQ community, but these are not always easy to locate. In larger cities on the coasts, inclusive denominations are more common and may even announce their welcome with rainbow flags or other visible signs of acceptance.