October is recognized as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month in the United States. There is a misconception that only straight women experience domestic violence, and although there is significant evidence that more women are abused than men, straight men are victims of abuse, as are gay men, lesbians and transgenders. According to the CDC, domestic violence is one of the most serious health risks facing our nation today. Anyone can be abused. It doesn’t matter if you’re large or small, white, black or Hispanic, or well-educated and rich. Domestic violence affects practically every demographic around the world in some fashion.

The National Violence Against Women Survey estimates that 7.1 percent of men and 20.4 percent of women in opposite-sex cohabitation situations experience domestic violence in their relationship. The percentages for same-sex relationships are even more staggering, at 21.5 percent for men and 35.4 percent for women. Transgender respondents came in 34.6 percent over their lifetime. The CDC released a 2010 study about intimate partner violence with similar findings. LGBT domestic violence actually occurs at rates higher than it does among straight men and women.

The LGBT Community Has Resources

Because domestic violence is often considered a heterosexual issue, there isn’t as much research and funding for gay men and women to find services. However, the Obama administration has brought more awareness to these issues in the LGBT community. More organizations are becoming alert to the possibility that not only straight women need help getting out of an abusive relationship. The Network/La Red in Boston is one of the most prominent organizations in the country that is available for victims. Although the network is based in Boston, it offers outreach for every community. Go online to TNLR.org or call their hotline at 617-742-4911.

Why Don’t People Get Help?

Men and women who are invested in a relationship without domestic violence often find it difficult to break up, even when they know it’s over. When you include the complexities of abuse, it can be even more difficult. First, an abuser often has isolated the victim, making him or her believe no one will believe them or help. Next, there is the potential for escalation. If a man or woman sends their partner to jail for assault, when the assailant gets out, it’s possible things could be even worse. Some who are abused do not have job skills or make enough on their own to afford housing, day care and health care for their family.

In the gay community, there’s another layer of factors that keep men and women from speaking out. Many in the LGBT community have been marginalized by the police or judicial system and have a fear of being looked down upon. There’s another fear of making the community look bad. It’s like you’re airing dirty laundry. Gays have worked hard to be accepted, and they don’t want to have domestic violence attached to their society.

The CDC recommends three ways communities can prevent and address intimate partner violence in their own system. Everyone has to work together to end partner violence, no matter who is on the receiving end of the abuse. Intervention needs to include:

• Recognition of healthy relationships regardless of sexual orientation
• Including the LGBT community in violence research
• Victim referrals to culturally appropriate services that are accessible

Domestic violence is not something that anyone likes to speak about. But the statistics are real. One in five women have experienced some form of domestic violence in their lifetime. One in seven men have. Thankfully, these figures have decreased over time, but until every person is safe in their relationship, we have to talk about this. Know the resources where men and women can get help. If you’re ever asked to help someone, find a professional and be supportive.

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