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Keeping Control of Your Wedding: A Guide

A mother and daughter discussing how to control her weddingWhile planning for your upcoming wedding, you’ve probably heard a nightmare story or two about the experiences friends and family members had during their own events. One common theme likely to keep coming up is the topic of people who get way too involved in the process. Whether this person is a relative, close friend, or a veritable stranger, certain people can’t help but butt in when weddings are involved. The tricky part is learning how to handle these intense personalities so you have control over your wedding and don’t have a total meltdown when your big day rolls around.

The best way to prepare for intrusive, though well-intentioned, guests is by looking over some of the personalities you’re likely to encounter. Explore this simple guide and learn a few tactics for how you can retain control on your wedding day.

Gotta Love Mothers

Moms play a vital role in the lives of most people. The woman who brought you into this world most likely also spent a great deal of time, money, and energy raising you to be the person you are today. Unfortunately, this is not enough of a reason to allow your mom full control of your big day. According to brides (and grooms!), the people to watch out for when planning and executing a wedding are the mothers. They only want to see your special day go off without a hitch, but this desire can easily lead to some trouble.

The old adage “the road to hell is paved with good intentions” tends to hold true when it comes to moms who want to be involved with their children’s weddings. The best and most efficient way of dealing with these potential problems is to tackle them before they get out of control. Speak with both your mother and your partner’s mother and explain how you appreciate their offers for help, but that you would rather handle the planning yourself. It might be awkward at first, but clearing the air early can help avoid later complications.

With Friends Like These…

While moms can be frustrating to deal with while planning your wedding, their desire to be involved still comes from a place of love. Friends, on the other hand, can become too involved for a variety of frustrating reasons. Your best friend might prove to be a real hassle when you ask her to be a bridesmaid. From disagreeing with your dress choices to providing unsolicited advice on which décor you need to use, friends can often overstep boundaries without realizing it while you go through the planning process.

The best way to keep your cool and stop your friend from offering unwanted opinions is by talking about your desires. Lay it all out, explaining you appreciate your friend’s thoughts but would rather plan your own wedding without a million voices chiming in your ear. It might not go over super well at first, but any good friend is going to understand your request once she or he realizes how much it means to you. It can even be helpful to give this friend special tasks to accomplish to keep this person occupied and involved.

Who Are You Again?

Finally, there are going to be plenty of people who want to get involved with planning your event who have absolutely no need to become involved. Random coworkers, partners of friends you don’t really know, and even neighbors might start providing ideas and offering their services. For the most part, you can be blunt with these individuals. Simply thank them for the offer and explain you don’t need the help. Hopefully, this is all it takes to dissuade them.

Planning for your big day can be a lot of work, but that doesn’t mean you want everyone you know wresting the power of planning out of your control. Keep yourself calm, openly discuss your desires, and learn how to retake control when well-intentioned offers keep rolling in.


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