Getting engaged can be the start of an exciting adventure. While marriage has long been an important ritual, gay and lesbian couples were denied the right to marry in the United States until recent years. Therefore, plenty of LGBTQ couples feel a bit lost when it comes to the best way to discuss a same-sex wedding and the marriage that follows. Whether you’ve always dreamed of your marriage or you lived most of your lives assuming you’d never tie the knot, it can be helpful to seek out advice when the time comes to plan your wedding and your relationship afterwards.
Luckily, learning about your options is not a very difficult endeavor. All you need to do is look over some of this advice to LGBTQ couples.
Consider the Cost
One of the biggest wedding-related obstacles couples face, gay and straight alike, is the budget. Saving for your big day can be a lot of work, especially when you don’t have the first idea what the event will cost you. Weddings can be expensive, but they don’t have to be. In fact, you can easily make your big day into a beautiful and meaningful experience without having to spend your entire savings along the way. As long as you and your partner are on the same page, the cost of the event should be secondary.
Of course, there are some price tags you can’t get away from. If you want to have a lot of people at your event, for example, then you’re going to have to bite the proverbial bullet and shell out the cash. Otherwise, you can adjust your budget to fit whatever services or vendors you’d like. Sit down with your significant other as you begin to plan out your big day and discuss finances. Having this conversation early is a great way to get on the same page about your upcoming wedding and, ultimately, your future.
Discuss Your Relationship
For heterosexual couples, relational responsibilities have shifted a great deal over the years. Once upon a time, it was expected that the wife would take care of the household and any children while the husband would go off and earn an income for the family. This mindset has changed a great deal, but relationship duties can get a bit murky for LGBTQ couples. Gender roles don’t matter as much to same-sex relationships, which is why it can be important to figure out an arrangement for who will be in charge of what.
Finances are likely to come into play again during this conversation. After you’ve tied the knot, you might want to break down specific duties, like who will be responsible for paying which bills. You also may want to start talking about household chores and other tasks. Perhaps one of you is better at cooking than the other, allowing for one of you to be responsible for preparing dinner each day after work. Rotating responsibilities is also an excellent way to balance out your relationship and ensure everyone is taking on the same number of tasks.
Look for Inspiration
Finally, it can be helpful to reach out to same-sex couples you know who have been in long-term relationships and get a bit of personal advice. All couples are different, of course, but you may find that asking another LGBTQ couple about how they handled their marriage is a wonderful way to get a better understanding of what to expect. You can never have too much advice, but you need to learn how to filter through it all and see which bits of wisdom are fitting of your relationship.
Tying the knot is a big step to take in life. Though LGBTQ marriages might be somewhat new, there are many ways to prepare for your future when you take time to do your research.