Love can be difficult to define. Most people who have found “the one” typically state they follow a feeling when it comes to taking the relationship to the next level. Of course, basing the decision to marry solely on your emotions can be disastrous. Today, couples are more cautious than ever when it comes to tying the knot. Still, plenty forget to have a few preliminary discussions before popping the question. If you want to get engaged, these premarital conversations can highlight whether you’re on the same page about the future.

Premarital Conversations About Children

Perhaps the most important question to touch upon before getting engaged is whether you want children. This is not the kind of situation where you should “wait and see” what happens. If you know for fact you want to have kids, you need to tell your partner. Many people have steadfast opinions on having children and do not change their points of view over time. Failing to bring up this matter can lead to some major complications down the line, including a chance of divorce. 

It is also important to note that you shouldn’t compromise what you want from the future for the sake of a romantic partner. You don’t want to wed someone who doesn’t share the vision you have for your life plans.

Premarital Conversations About Careers

On most career paths, your job won’t impact your decision to marry. However, there are plenty of careers that can place serious pressures on relationships. Whether your partner works intense hours or your job requires regular travel, unusual schedules can create stress in a marriage. You should discuss if your career path will change how often you’re around before engagement.

Some jobs might also require that you move to a different location. If your partner has no desire to leave the area where you currently reside, you can’t expect that this will change just because an opportunity presents itself for your professional advancement. As with the topic of children, sometimes knowing that you’re on a different page than your partner can help you avoid making decisions you will regret for the rest of your life. 

Premarital Conversations About Beliefs

Morals and values can also influence how a couple works together in a marriage. While you likely know how your partner feels about spiritual matters, failing to recognize the importance of certain factors can lead to misunderstandings. If you want future children to be raised in your faith you should bring this up before getting engaged. A conflict of personal values can put a lot of tension on a relationship. Be sure to talk about anything that matters deeply to you before making big choices about your future.

Major Issues

It is impossible to predict what will happen down the line. However, your previous experiences can help to inform you about what you will and will not tolerate from a partner. While physical and verbal abuse should always be dealbreakers, there are other smaller matters that can cause a person to want to leave a relationship. Habits like excessive drinking, smoking, and gambling can be points to discuss if you or your partner have a history with these addictions.  

Though most people understand marriage is a big commitment, plenty fail to think practically about the decision. While you don’t need to be overly pragmatic about getting engaged, a few preliminary discussions can clear the air and ensure you’ve found the right person to spend your life with.