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Name Change Options for Married Same-Sex Couples to Consider

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If you and your intended are getting married, you might be trying to decide what to do about your last names. Since many married pairs today dispense with other traditions, the decision to keep their own names seems logical. However, if you’re considering bringing children into your family or if you want to create a new identity as a couple, you do have some other name change options. You both should consider your situation carefully, weighing the advantages and disadvantages of any course of action before proceeding.

Keeping One’s Name Is a Popular Choice

Just as many same-gender couples dispense with other long-observed customs, most also forgo the practice of changing their surnames. An article in Vogue magazine reported that most decline the change because they have careers built under their own names or a desire to represent their familial or cultural ties. Moreover, the processes to update legal documents, financial accounts and other information can be onerous and complicated. However, couples with differing last names who have children will need to decide whose appellation their child will take.

It’s interesting to note that some societies do not practice the tradition of changing surnames after marriage. For instance, some cultures assign patronymic or matronymic appellations to individuals. These are based on their father’s or mother’s first names, and are retained throughout their entire lives. One famous example of this is Icelandic musician Björk, who was given the patronymic name Guðmundsdóttir at birth.

Some Elect to Adopt Their Spouse’s Name or Hyphenate

One less-popular choice among same-gender married couples is for one spouse to take the other’s last name. People might elect this path if they plan to bring children into the marriage. Others may want to enjoy the convenience of a surname that’s easier to pronounce or spell. Others may have no attachment to their family appellation and take their partner’s to show solidarity as a married couple. For instance, Brad Takei adopted the surname of his husband, Star Trek actor, author and activist George Takei.

Others who marry a same-sex partner decide to adopt a hyphenated name. When both partners make the change, the shared surname is frequently intended to show unity as a family. Their children would then have a last name representing both sides of their family. However, this route also involves paperwork and bureaucracy to update one’s records. Finally, the new last name may be too lengthy to include on updates to financial accounts, credit cards or other types of accounts.

Creating a New Last Name: A Unique Solution Amongst Name Change Options 

Besides these choices, another option for some couples is to create an entirely new last name for both to adopt. This avoids the potential logistical challenges with hyphenation and creates a new familial identity. Nevertheless, an article on wedding planning website TheKnot.com mentioned the bureaucratic challenges with this option. With adopting your partner’s name or choosing to hyphenate, you just need your marriage license to change your legal and financial records. In contrast, creating your own last names will likely require you to petition your local court system. You should check county or state laws to see what steps to take if you decide to go this route.

Some same-sex couples do not opt to change their names after their wedding. Others ponder the issue to come up with feasible solutions. Adopting the other’s surname or hyphenating names are just a few possibilities. Others decide to invent a new last name together, but it requires more paperwork and logistical complexities to make legal. It’s never easy forging a new path together, but working cooperatively to solve such challenges will pave the way for your future as a couple.

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