Attending a wedding can be a big deal. When two people you care about deeply are preparing to tie the knot, it can fill you with all sorts of emotions. If the couple in question happens to be a same-sex couple, then you might feel a bit confused about what to expect. Those who are attending their first same-sex wedding might be a bit curious. For the most part, weddings involving members of the LGBT community are quite similar to traditional marriages between a man and a woman.

Despite their similarities, there are definitely going to be points where the rituals diverge from what is expected. If you have never been to a same-sex celebration of marriage before, you could be in need of a bit of assistance. Explore some of these tips on what to avoid and how to go about the evening, and keep yourself prepared for whatever is in store.

The Right Language

Statistics show that more and more people are becoming accepting of gay and lesbian relationships. Though there are still many people out there who are against same-sex unions, their numbers are rapidly shrinking. Still, even people who have good intentions can wind up doing something offensive when in attendance at a same-sex wedding. By staying conscious of what you are saying and how you are speaking to the happy couple, you can avoid some seriously uncomfortable blunders. For one, remember to avoid calling it a “gay wedding.”

Though the media, politicians, and certain church leaders love to use the phrase “gay marriage,” almost all people who identify as members of the LGBT community do not use the term. To a gay person, a wedding is a wedding. By referring to such an event as a “gay wedding” or something similar, you are reducing the happy couple to their sexual identities. Drop the word “gay” from your vocabulary, and you are less likely to want to put your foot in your mouth after saying something embarrassing.

Same-Sex Wedding Gender Norms

Almost all heterosexual unions rely heavily on gender norms from start to finish. Both the bride and the groom have specific actions to take care of throughout the wedding. With a same-sex union, things are a bit different. Gay and lesbian relationships are unique and do not usually follow the patterns of hetero relationships. This is a common misunderstanding for straight people, as many assume they follow with tradition. “Which one of you is the bride?” is a question many gay men hear at their own weddings.

It is incredibly important to remember that neither of the two men at a same-sex wedding is the bride. Making jokes like “which one of you is the woman?” can be offensive, frustrating, and unwelcomed. Whether you are being sincere or not, gay and lesbian couples hear remarks like this constantly and do not want to have to field questions at their own celebrations. These questions and jokes should be avoided at all costs.

The Same Old Song

While there are going to be many differences between same-sex and heterosexual weddings, they are also going to remain somewhat the same. Marriage is the joining of two people who love each other and wish to commit to one another for the rest of their lives. This is true whether you are dealing with straight, gay, or lesbian couples. You can expect to eat well, drink merrily, and engage in all kinds of dancing before the night has ended, just as with any wedding you have attended.

If you have been invited to a same-sex wedding and have never been to one before, it can be helpful to take time to do a bit of research. By taking a moment to familiarize yourself with what to expect, it is less likely you will make anyone else uncomfortable.