Weddings can bring out both the best and the worst in people. Most of your friends, family, and acquaintances will offer warm congratulations on your engagement. You’ll likely also share your excitement with those in your inner circle. However, you may encounter a few thoughtless, prying, rude, or blatantly unsupportive people whose words and antics can drive you up a wall. Whether they’re unconsciously being offensive or deliberately trying to sabotage your joy, some sage wisdom may help you stay grounded when dealing with drama.

Inquiring Minds Want To Know 

After announcing your engagement, you’ll probably field all kinds of questions from family, close friends, and casual associates. You may be thrilled to answer many of them thanks to your joyful anticipation of tying the knot, but certain ones can feel invasive or put you on the spot. A July 2016 Brides article lists a few common prying interrogatives:

• Those aimed at judging the size or cost of your engagement rings.
• People inquiring about your guest list before you send invitations.
• Questions about bringing children or “plus-ones.”
• Curiosity about how much you intend to spend.

While the Brides article discusses some typical nosy questions encountered by straight cisgender people, same-sex couples or transgender people planning to tie the knot may hear other kinds of thoughtless or rude interrogatives. By now, you may be unsurprised by the insensitive and sometimes ignorant nature of these inquiries. Ultimately, how you choose to deal with these annoyances is up to you. Depending on the question and the person who’s asking, you could opt to respond diplomatically, deflect the question with humor, or accentuate a positive point.

No Tea, No Shade? Handling Hurtful Comments

Unfortunately, some naysayers can come out of the woodwork and judge your impending nuptials through the lens of traditional norms or by lofty, unreasonable standards. The Knot discusses some typical examples of unwanted opinions. This can include critiques about the length of your engagement period, snide comments about your choices, unsolicited advice about what you “should” do, or dour pronouncements that your relationship won’t last.

While some of these individuals could be unknowingly projecting their own insecurities onto you and your event, a few may be purposely attempting to provoke you or hurt your feelings. Again, you can reply with witty remarks or a curt and to-the-point explanation that serves as an answer but doesn’t give the other person leverage. If you cannot think of anything worthwhile or useful to say, you may simply have no choice but to walk away and refuse to continue the drama.

Helpful Drama-Busters for Your Wedding Day

Since weddings are delicately orchestrated affairs, there’s a lot of room for things to go wrong. Many of these come in the form of vendor mistakes, cranky children, or unexpected behavior from your beloved animal companions. Nevertheless, Wedding Wire’s Stephanie Weers points out that family conflict and insulting remarks can pile on top of other worries and sap your strength. Weers’s tips for dealing with drama include the following:

• Delegating responsibilities to your wedding coordinator or a trusted friend
• Exercising the morning of your ceremony to relieve anxiety and stress
• Eating healthy and on a regular schedule
• Avoiding the temptation to respond to negative comments
• Adopting a flexible approach to problems
• Refusing to worry and keeping an upbeat perspective

Stay Focused on the Positive

Hopefully, you’re surrounded by helpful friends and family members who make up a strong support system. Not only that, you’re tying your life to someone you love and value and who offers the same to you in return. Remembering what matters on your special day can help you shake off the negativity when dealing with drama. This way, you can enjoy not only your ceremony and reception, but also your new life with your future spouse.