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Officiant Options for Your Queer or Transgender Wedding

A lesbian couple exchanging wedding rings.

Marriage equality is the law of the land, thanks to the Obergefell v. Hodges Supreme Court decision in 2015. Nevertheless, some queer and transgender people have faced difficulties trying to find officiants for their wedding ceremonies. If you’re stuck without someone to solemnize your union, consider these potentially useful officiant options.

Try a Justice of the Peace

A justice of the peace ceremony can be a great alternative to hiring traditional clergy. The Ever After Guide explains that civil ceremonies are often much shorter than religious versions. Depending on the officiant, you may be able to craft your own vows and include many elements of a standard nuptial celebration. Your local marriage authority should have a list of justices of the peace. Just don’t forget to ask potential candidates if they officiate same-sex weddings.

Choose LGBTQ-Affirming Clergy

While religious stances on gender and sexual orientation can vary, many regions have at least one local faith community that welcomes and affirms LGBTQ individuals. Some are affiliated with major progressive Christian sects, which usually include denominations such as the following:

  • Evangelical Lutheran Church in America
  • Unitarian Universalist Association
  • United Church of Christ
  • Episcopal Church of the United States
  • Religious Society of Friends (Quakers)
  • Presbyterian Church of the United States

Additionally, several United Methodist congregations and some independent Catholic bodies such as the Ecumenical Catholic Communion and the Old Catholic Church invite LGBTQ members and permit clergy to officiate same-sex marriages. For a complete list of affirming Christian churches in each state, try the GALIP Foundation’s website.

For couples from other traditions and those planning interfaith weddings, you may need to explore other officiant options. If you prefer an officiant from your own religious tradition, you might want to check out The Knot’s searchable database. It allows you to filter results by location, religion, willingness to solemnize same-gender weddings and other factors. Unitarian Universalist clergy members are another possible option, and the Universal Life Church maintains a minister’s directory on its website.

Speaking of Universal Life Church Ministers…

Since the 1990s, the Universal Life Church has promoted marriage equality. With its unique ordination model that’s been available online for the last few decades, independent officiants and others who wish to solemnize weddings have a way to do so legally.

The ULC offers ordination for free, but ordained ministers may need to order certain documents from the church, such as their printed certificates and Letters of Good Standing, to prove their statuses. Requirements differ according to each jurisdiction, so be sure to contact the appropriate marriage authority to verify what you’ll need to provide during the application process for a minister’s license. Keep in mind that the ULC has several websites: the main Universal Life Church site, Get Ordained, and The Monastery. Whoever you ask to officiate should get ordained and order documents from the same site. 

When All Else Fails, Self-Solemnize 

Can you perform the ceremony yourselves if you lack an officiant? In a few states, the answer is yes. A 2015 Offbeat Bride article describes how one couple did it with a handfasting ceremony, exchanging vows between themselves and asking their guests to affirm their union. Although a family member performed the short ceremony and proclamation mandated by the state of Vermont, jurisdictions that permit couples to entirely self-solemnize include Colorado, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and the District of Columbia.

Marrying your partner is a significant life step, one that also involves legal complexities along with matters of the heart. Depending on where you live, tracking down an officiant can be challenging. Fortunately, it’s not impossible thanks to officiant options such as justices of the peace, LGBTQ-welcoming clergy, ULC ministers and, in limited cases, self-solemnization.

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