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Important Topics To Discuss Before Getting Engaged

A couple sitting on a couch to discuss important topics before getting engaged

The longer you have been with your significant other, the more likely you are to feel ready to take the next step in your relationship. The decision to get engaged is not one that should be made lightly, however. You want to be certain that you are on the same page as your partner when it comes to your visions of the future. Before popping the question, take a moment and review this handful of topics you should discuss prior to getting engaged.

Do You Want To Start a Family?

Whether or not your partner wants to start a family is one of the biggest points to bring up when you’re thinking about getting engaged. Specifically, you want to talk about having children. For same-sex couples, there are several considerations, such as the adoption process or finding a potential surrogate. Research highlights that people don’t usually change their minds about wanting to have children. If you really want kids and your partner doesn’t, marriage might not be the right choice for your future. 

How Do You Handle Your Finances?

Money is one of the biggest stressors in a relationship. Before getting engaged, you want to know as much as possible about how your partner handles their finances. It can be useful to specifically talk about how your significant other goes about saving funds. Once you get married, you may decide to take big steps together, like purchasing a home. If your partner does not know how to put money aside, the financial burden of these decisions can fall on you and cause your relationship to suffer.  

What Communication Issues Exist?

For any relationship to thrive, communication needs to be a top priority. If you believe there are problems with how you handle conflict with your partner, now is the time to talk about the issues and work through them. You don’t need to resolve all of the problems during this conversation. The main idea is to come up with a plan for how to deal with obstacles as a team. A great way to keep communication strong is by having daily check-ins and being as open and honest as possible during these conversations. 

Is There Anything You Need To Say?

Even if you have been together for many years, there are plenty of things your partner may have never mentioned. While you don’t need to know your partner’s entire life story before walking down the aisle, there might be “secrets” you both feel should be mentioned before taking the relationship to the next level. If either one of you has been married in the past, for example, this is something that should be discussed. Should you keep anything significant from your partner, it could cause problems down the line when the truth comes out. 

What Does the Future Look Like?

Everyone has a different idea of what the future will look like. If your partner has a job that consumes most of his or her time, or you have always wanted to live in another state, these topics need to be mentioned before you get engaged. While compromise is a part of any healthy relationship, there are some goals that people won’t back away from. You both must ask yourselves whether you feel comfortable changing your plans for the future to accommodate your relationship. If you can’t, then you may need to rethink an engagement. 

When you feel like you’ve found the right romantic partner, getting engaged can seem like the most logical next step. Before getting engaged, take time to discuss these topics for your future and ensure you’re both ready for this commitment.

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