One of the guiding principles of the Universal Life Church is that each person should be able to walk their own spiritual path in life. Living your truth is an essential part of your journey. For some people, feeling comfortable or aligned with their own sense of gender is critical. Your spouse or partner may feel that their personal sense of gender doesn’t match their biological sex and transitioning is the best way to rectify this. Many people decide to transition to a gender identity (or lack thereof) that aligns with their sense of self.

Examining Transitioning for Your Partner

Generally speaking, transitioning refers to a process that involves changing the way you present to match your gender identity. There’s no one way to change, and each person will have a journey that is unique to them. The transition process can include a change in style of dress, a legal name change, or medical procedures. Many think of transitioning as making gender identity and expression congruent. Here are some things to consider as your significant other walks their path.

Exploring Different Types

There are different types of transitioning that may or may not be part of the journey for your partner:

• Internal: This refers to the way a person views themselves and describes things someone may do when they’re alone or around people they trust. Some examples include changing the tone of voice or style of dress. 
• Social: Social transitioning often involves publicly identifying as transgender or nonbinary. Your partner may update social media accounts to reflect their gender identity. They may also change their presentation around others.
• Legal: Formally changing names and gender identities on various documents are activities associated with legal transitioning. Laws and regulations vary depending on location and the institutions or systems a person is registered with. For example, a licensed engineer or lawyer might formally change their name with their state licensing board.
• Physical: Medical and non-medical procedures to permanently or temporarily change a person’s body and physical attributes fall under physical transitioning. Binding the chest or tucking genitalia are examples of non-medical physical transitioning. Undergoing breast removal surgery or taking hormones to grow facial hair would be considered medical procedures.

Defining the Journey

Transgender and nonbinary people have their own journeys, and that includes your partner. Some people only change internally. Some temporarily change their outward appearance or presentation to align with their sense of self. Others undergo more permanent transitions such as gender-confirmation surgical procedures that are internal, external, or both.

Your spouse’s priorities and needs will likely evolve along the journey. The good news is a person’s identity isn’t defined by their presentation to others. Many transgender and nonbinary people don’t transition at all. 

Considering the Costs of Your Partner Transitioning

Internal and social congruence may cost very little in terms of time and expense. Changing a driver’s license and other identity-related paperwork usually requires the payment of fees. Those processes can also take time and impact other aspects of your lives as individuals and partners.

Non-medical and medical procedures will also vary in cost. Some medical procedures may not be viewed as necessary to save one’s life, and your insurer may not cover them. For example, your insurer may view a hysterectomy to avoid disease as medically necessary but not one to affirm gender identity. According to the Philadelphia Center for Transgender Surgery, male-to-female and female-to-male transitioning can cost over $100,000. You and your partner will need to discuss this aspect if they want to pursue transitioning through gender-affirming procedures.

The transition journey is unique and is an important part of your partner’s mental health and wellness. Whether they decide to make changes or not, they need to be supported in aligning their identity and presentation. It’s important to know what options are out there in terms of time, cost, and permanence.