In the age-old television and movie trope, the groom springs a prenuptial agreement on the bride right before the wedding.  Will she sign to marry her “prince,” or does she take this legal action as a red flag and cancel the wedding? Today, prenups are becoming more common in same-sex couples to protect assets, such as businesses or real estate interests. How should you approach a prenup with your future spouse?

What Is a Prenuptial Agreement?

A prenuptial agreement addresses the financial issues between a couple when entering into a marriage. It is highly recommended that each person have their own lawyer before signing a prenup. For a prenup to be valid, both parties must have the opportunity to make sure the agreement is fair and reasonable. A prenup signed under duress could be thrown out in court should the marriage end. A prenup can address many situations, including the distribution of debts when a marriage ends or spousal support. However, a prenup cannot address child custody or support. A prenup isn’t contentious, but it can be a way to build financial accountability and to find solutions to financial issues.

Does a Prenup Mean You’re Already Thinking About the End of the Marriage?

It’s been said that over 50% of all marriages end in divorce. When you think about it, all marriages end, some in divorce, but many end with the death of a spouse. A prenup can address what happens to the marital assets in either case. Couples who have adult children from other relationships may want to decide how their estate is distributed to their family and to their spouse. Divorce can be complicated for same-sex couples, which makes prenups essential. A prenup may mean that you’re thinking about how your marriage ends, but it’s not that you expect it to end. It’s that you want to be prepared.

A Prenup Can Help Address Financial Issues Before You Fight

Finances are one of the most common reasons a couple divorces. Often, it’s not really about finances, but about expectations concerning finances. One person saves, while the other wants to take vacations or spend money on family. One partner can come into the marriage with more debt than the other. A prenuptial agreement can help the two of you get on the same page about finances before the marriage.

Same-Sex Couples Often Face Unique Challenges  

Couples who end up in divorce court often deal with difficult issues around the division of property or alimony. Although the laws pertaining to divorce apply equally to same-sex couples as they do to hetero couples, same-sex couples often face discrimination or bias in the courts. Without a prenuptial agreement, the judge may make the decisions as to how assets are distributed. It’s much better to have to work that out on your own before the dissolution of the marriage when you both are coming together for your future.

How To Ask For a Prenup?

Ideally, as a couple, you should be discussing money issues before you get engaged. Today’s prenups aren’t just for wealthy individuals. Discussing finances is awkward. Discussing a prenup can be inherently awkward. It could put your partner on the defensive. You will need to approach it carefully, with the idea that it is more like insurance. Offer ways that a prenup is a benefit to both of you. If you can’t get on the same page with finances before the wedding, it’s going to be even more difficult after the wedding. Approach your partner with the idea that you want to strengthen your relationship through financial understanding. Don’t forget to discuss it with your legal advisor to set it up correctly for your state and situation.