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Why Same-Sex Couples Should Consider Premarital Counseling

A same-sex couple in premarital counseling working through emotional topics with their counselor.
Premarital counseling can be a challenging process but the rewards are worth it.

When a relationship runs into a rough patch, one practical solution is to seek the help of a counselor. However, you don’t need to wait until a problem arises for you to pursue this option. In fact, many couples find that visiting with a premarital counselor before tying the knot is a great way to clear the air of any doubt or concerns. For same-sex couples, premarital counseling can set the tone for the rest of the relationship. It guarantees both parties are equally heard. Review these points to see why premarital counseling is a sensible choice.

Understanding the Basics of Premarital Counseling

Communication is key in any relationship. Unfortunately, not everyone is able to fully articulate his or her wants, needs, and grievances. By visiting with a therapist before getting married, you and your partner are being given the chance to openly communicate your thoughts and feelings with a third-party moderator. Having a therapist present reduces the odds of the conversation devolving into an argument. It also makes it easier to broach topics you might have otherwise not considered. What’s more, statistics highlight that premarital counseling has become incredibly popular with same-sex couples of all ages and backgrounds. 

Finding the Right Therapist 

The first challenge you are likely to face when pursuing counseling services is finding a licensed marriage and family therapist you feel comfortable with. While there are plenty of professionals offering therapy services, you need to take extra care to guarantee the person you hire is friendly to members of the LGBT community. If you have insurance, take a look at the providers in your network and do some research to determine which individuals specialize in counseling services for same-sex relationships. For those without insurance, directories of potential counselors can be found through reputable organizations like Psychology Today

Learning About Your Partner

The beauty of premarital counseling is having the opportunity to cover numerous topics related to the future of your relationship. However, you may not know where to begin when the time for your appointment arrives. Typically, couples will use these sessions as a chance to talk about where they see the relationship going. This is the perfect opportunity to talk about whether or not you want to have children, where you imagine yourselves living in a few years, what your core values are, and how you plan to handle conflicts within the marriage. 

Asking Helpful Questions

Going to therapy with your partner can be daunting. In order to feel prepared for the experience, it can be a good idea to come up with a series of questions you can discuss during your session. For example, many people will begin with a general question such as “Why are we getting married?” By asking this question during your appointment, you have the opportunity to talk to your partner about the nature of your relationship. You may be pleasantly surprised to learn exactly why your significant other wants to spend the rest of his or her life with you.  

Handling Arguments in a Healthy Way

Some couples argue more than others. If you take part in premarital counseling and find that you and your partner are fighting about a number of different topics, do not feel dismayed. This does not mean your relationship is in trouble. In fact, it offers you the chance to learn the best ways to handle disagreements. Your counselor can offer a number of solutions on how to best listen to one another and respond without the conversation exploding into a fight. Tackling these issues before marriage can make future conflicts much easier to manage. 

Facing the Future Together

Though many people view therapy as a solution to pursue after a problem has appeared in a relationship, this is far from the truth. In reality, it’s a great way to ensure you and your partner have a healthy relationship. It’s an investment into your future life with your partner, even if your relationship is going smoothly. Learn more about premarital counseling for same-sex couples to help get your marriage started on the right foot.

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