The idea of standing before your friends and relatives on your wedding day can be both an exciting and terrifying thought. While many couples merely need to smile and listen to the officiant, there are plenty who opt to include personal vows in their ceremonies. Reading the vows can produce anxiety in and of itself, but the task of writing the right words can be even more stressful. If you need a bit of help navigating this task, now is the time to find your focus. Review these suggestions and learn how to write the perfect vows.

Give Yourself Time

The first bit of advice to keep in mind about your vows is that you shouldn’t wait until the last second to write them. While there are plenty of important responsibilities to keep in mind throughout the planning process, the vows are a task you want to dedicate proper time to. You don’t need to come up with the final product on the first round, either. The main idea is to come back to the vows a few times before the date of your wedding in order to polish any rough edges and bring them up to your standards. 

Start With Lists

Writing is far from a linear experience. More often than not, a writer’s finished product comes about after a multitude of ups, downs, and surprise turns. Instead of assuming you need to sit down and write your first draft from beginning to end, you can actually get more accomplished by making a list. Jot down all of the qualities you love about your partner. As you make this list, specific memories and emotions will likely bubble to the surface. Use what you remember as a jumping-off point for your first draft.

The more personal and specific a piece of writing is, the more of an impact it has on the audience. By peppering in concrete details about your relationship, you can add a rich texture to your vows that bring out the smiles and the tissues.  

Make Edits

After creating a list or a first draft, you might find you have a ton of information to work with. While this is better than not having enough, you may also struggle to sort through everything you’ve written so far. Though being specific and sentimental is key to great vows, so is keeping the message short. Making edits is one of the more important components of the writing process. 

To get a feel for how and when to make your cuts, read the words out loud and time yourself. The average wedding vow falls between 45 seconds and two minutes, so if your speech goes longer than this, it means you absolutely need to make major edits.

Include a Favorite Piece

If you find yourself really struggling to write the perfect vows that meet your personal standards, it can be useful to think about including a favorite piece of text. A snippet of a book, movie, song, or poem that your partner enjoys can fill out the vows in a meaningful way. Try to cater the piece you include to the tone of the event. If you want to keep the mood light, include a quote that is sure to get the crowd laughing. When your aim is to tug the heartstrings, use an excerpt that is dripping in sentimentality. 

Read to Yourself and Others

Finally, don’t forget to read the speech out loud to both yourself and people you trust. Some mistakes are only caught when the words are spoken or heard by another, so this step is crucial for anyone trying to eliminate grammar mistakes and awkward phrases. 

Personalized vows might add a nice touch to a wedding, but the process of writing the perfect words can be stressful for the couple. As long as you give yourself lots of time for this task, you should have no trouble making powerful promises to your partner.