Being in a same-sex relationship can be tricky. When the time comes to get married, you might not have the first clue about how to begin. For most of modern history, gay and lesbian couples were prohibited by law from tying the knot. Even today, there are countless people looking to stem the tides of progress and prevent loving couples from enjoying the bonds of matrimony. While the social justice side of things can be stressful, planning for the actual wedding might be a much more serious challenge. Marriage has been legal for same-sex couples for several years now. Despite this fact, there are very few resources out there dedicated to assisting recently engaged couples with their dream weddings. To discover the right wedding path for you and your significant other, think about a few of these points and shape your journey from there.

Avoid the Noise 

“Gay weddings” is a popular phrase in the media. Before same-sex marriage was legalized, the fight for marriage equality was often reduced to whether someone was for or against “gay marriage.” While a lot of the animosity and ignorance has subsided, the mentality has persisted in peculiar ways. The desire to be seen as accepting has led many straight people to go above and beyond to make members of the LGBTQ community feel welcomed. Unfortunately, many straight people make interesting assumptions about what they believe same-sex couples care about.

Do a quick search for “same-sex wedding ideas” and you are going to come across a slew of bad advice. A large chunk of the blog posts and articles out there on the internet suggest placing rainbow flags everywhere. There are rainbow cake ideas, rainbow dresses, rainbow tuxes, and rainbow everything else. While the LGBTQ community might be represented by a rainbow flag, most gay and lesbian couples have no desire to display the flag at their events. To stay sane while planning for your own reception, be sure to rise above the well-intentioned bad advice.

Scrap and Salvage

The fact that same-sex marriages are relatively new can actually work to your advantage when it comes to planning. Most heterosexual couples are bogged down by tradition when it comes to their own events. In a large number of cases, the parents of the bride and groom are involved in making some big decisions. You might be the first gay person to ever get married in your family, meaning there is no precedent. You can do whatever you like for your wedding, and no one will have anything to compare it to.

Picking and choosing which traditions and rituals you want involved with your ceremony can be empowering. Free from the shackles of tradition, you and your partner can explore what means the most to you. You are going to have the opportunity to build a wedding from scratch if you so desire. Take a look at traditions from around the world and get a feel for what other people do to celebrate marriage. By examining the customs of other cultures, you might be able to come up with a meaningful gesture of your own.

Go at Your Own Pace

Today’s culture often makes it seem like there is a timer on an engagement. The moment a couple decides to wed, everyone awaits the announcement of a date for the ceremony. This can put a lot of pressure on you and sour the experience of planning your event. Remember to go at your own pace, and it will keep you in better spirits all the while.

Same-sex weddings might be new territory in some ways, but that can be quite advantageous. Discover a path for you and your partner’s wedding by exploring what is out there and learning about what will work best for you.