Romance is far from easy. No matter who you are or who you love, figuring out how to make a relationship work can be a puzzling and infuriating trial. For same-sex couples, however, the road can prove even more challenging. Heterosexual relationships might be tricky, but there are endless books, podcasts, films, and resources aimed at helping straight couples. While “love is love,” a lot of the advice given cannot be universally applied to all partnerships. If you’re a member of the LGBT community, look over these tips on why same-sex relationships fail.

Sex Drive

One of the biggest stereotypes associated with gay men is that they’re constantly driven by the desire to have sex. While this is not universally true, it is quite accurate. A study conducted in the 1970s by researchers Johnson and Masters uncovered that men in same-sex relationships tend to view intercourse in very different ways than lesbian and straight couples. The research explains that gay men and, in some cases, men in general, will tie romantic feelings with the rate at which sex occurs. For some, less sex equates to a problem with the relationship.

While most people are rational enough to understand that there are countless reasons why couples start to have less sex, the study by Johnson and Masters elaborates that an inability to discuss these physical issues can lead to additional tension. You don’t need to have sex all the time if you’re a gay man in a relationship. However, you definitely need to have an open discussion with your partner on the topic to make sure you’re both on the same page. Additional research conducted in subsequent decades seems to back up the importance of communication in regard to intimacy issues.

Negativity

Another interesting fact uncovered during the Masters and Johnson study was how a negative disposition can sour a relationship. This is true of heterosexual and homosexual pairings, of course, but a pessimistic outlook tends to have deeper ramifications for gay men. The study explains that gay men tend to be more susceptible to negative feelings and thoughts than lesbians or straight couples. When a gay man perceives his partner as too negative, he might end a relationship out of a subconscious fear that he will start to develop the same cynical view.

While it is not necessary to be a constant supply of sunshine and mirth to your partner or the world at large, addressing deeper issues is crucial for your relationship. When you find yourself circling a drain of negative thoughts, address the problem directly. The longer you stew in these emotions, the more likely it will have a lasting impact on your significant other and the bond you share. Again, this is an area where communication plays a key role. Discuss what’s on your mind instead of letting your own feelings fester within.

Fools Rush In

Another popular LGBT-related myth is that lesbians move in together much faster than straight couples or gay men. Despite how widespread this belief is, there is no data to back the claim up. Still, research does suggest that couples who are more educated are the least likely to rush into a living situation with a partner. On a scientific level, the hormone oxytocin is produced at higher levels for roughly the first two years of a relationship. This causes the euphoria that new love can bring and forces some decisions to be made irrationally, like getting married after a month.

Straight and same-sex relationships all share common ground and all can fail. Still, by understanding the specific obstacles you may face in your pairing, you’re more likely to discover a practical way of addressing and tackling these issues together.