Romantic relationships are often a top priority for people who are single. The digital age helps to highlight the desire for human connection, as dating apps and similar programs have skyrocketed over the last few years. What most people do not stop to consider, however, is that a relationship is not a cure-all for life’s problems. In fact, committing to another before you really love or even like yourself can be a bad idea. Learning to love yourself is a long journey for some, but it is one that everyone must go on at some point.

Spend Time Alone

Do you know someone who is always bouncing from one relationship to the next? Perhaps you or a close friend or family member are this way. While it might be commonplace, it can also be quite problematic. If you are always with a significant other, you have less time for yourself. Spending time alone is crucial to get a more in-depth understanding of who you are, what makes you tick, and what you actually enjoy doing with your spare time. 

In a relationship, you are often at the whims of your partner. When you are someone who rolls with the punches, it means you could constantly take a back seat to the needs of your significant other. If you’re single, one of the best decisions you can make is to spend time alone. This doesn’t mean stay home and stare at your phone. Instead, take yourself out into the world and engage in activities you find appealing. Not only does this help you love yourself in a new way, but it also gives you a clearer understanding of your own needs.

Write Things Down

Life can be hectic. When you spend your hours running from one obligation to the next, it can prevent you from checking in with yourself. When learning to show more love to yourself, get into the habit of writing down your thoughts on a regular basis. Buying a small journal and carrying it with you is a perfect way to tackle this idea. Write about your thoughts, emotions, daily activities, goals, or whatever else you feel inclined to include. Even if you never look back on what you wrote, the act itself is said to be incredibly beneficial to the mind.

Show Restraint

Countless people go with the proverbial flow in group settings because they fear rocking the boat. These individuals are often roped into taking on all kinds of responsibilities because they do not say “no” when they should. If this is a struggle you’re familiar with, now is the time to practice loving yourself by saying no to others. Your time is valuable, and taking on obligations when you don’t have the availability is an easy way to lose your mind. Pick and choose what you agree to with more discretion, and see how it shapes your future.

Address Your Wounds

An inability to show yourself love is not usually an active decision. More often than not, a person’s previous romantic or familial relationships set the tone for all future interactions. If you’ve been hurt many times before, you might fixate on your perceived shortcomings in order to avoid the same “mistakes” in the future. Instead of blaming yourself, it can be better to work with a therapist on addressing your wounds. Learn how your past has negatively impacted your present, and take active steps to find a partner who will accept you as you accept yourself.

There is no secret to finding the perfect significant other. Still, a strong focus on learning to love yourself can totally transform the way you approach future relationships. Spend more time alone and actively engage with your interests to discover the parts of yourself you can take pride in.