So…you’re getting married. Congratulations! If you or your partner are Jewish, you may decide to host either an interfaith wedding with Jewish elements or a completely Jewish ceremony. On top of these details, planning a same-sex wedding with Jewish traditions will take some time and care. However, some useful tips can help you pull together a spectacular and memorable wedding day.

Start Your Planning Early

There’s lots to do with arranging any wedding, but you’ll want a head start on yours for a few reasons. First, you should track down LGBTQ-friendly vendors early, such as your photographer, bakery, caterers, and venues. Your officiant also plays a key role in your nuptials, so find a rabbi who will perform a same-gender wedding. You’ll also want to confirm that he or she will agree to officiate if yours will be an interfaith celebration. Chances are, rabbis willing to do one will be agreeable to the other. Still, make no assumptions and be sure to ask.

Iron Out the Details

Most traditional wedding scripts assume that one man and one woman are the ones marrying. With that said, you should be prepared to collaborate with your rabbi to change some of the language, particularly portions that are specifically gendered. GayWeddings.com contributor Cigall Goldman advises selecting a clergy person whose philosophy on Jewish tradition is similar to your own. Moreover, it’s vital to make sure he or she is willing to modify language and traditions to reflect your reality as a couple. Some details that might need to be changed include the following:

• Shifting Hebrew phrases “chatan v’kallah” (groom and bride) in the Seven Blessings to same-gender or nongendered versions
• Language in the ketubah contract to reflect an equal partnership between you and your spouse
• Gender-specific customs in the ceremony itself

Several resources can be found on the internet to aid you in crafting a unique event. For instance, the “bedeken,” or veiling ceremony, can be altered or completely omitted. Some couples have also adapted the “hakafot,” the practice of the bride circling around the groom, so that each spouse circles around the other or walks together around the chuppah. Cigall Goldman offers some sage wisdom for adjusting these customs when planning your own Jewish same-sex wedding at GayWeddings.com.

Mazel Tov! Enjoy Your Happily Ever After

Faith can be multifaceted, just like love. Just as each family finds its own ways to express that love, many religions are broadening their views of marriage, opening their beliefs and doctrines to welcome same-sex romantic love. Developments like these are making it possible for same-gender Jewish or interfaith couples to work elements of their spirituality into their weddings, especially since many Reform and Conservative Jewish rabbis supported the marriage equality movement. By carefully vetting your rabbi and other vendors, starting the planning process as early as possible, and working together to modify specific elements, you can have a ceremony and reception that reflects both your shared love and faith.