By now, you’ve no doubt heard about the greying of America – an increasingly older population living well into their golden years. The U.S. Census Bureau predicts that adults over 65 will outnumber children and teens by 2034. Younger adults are now facing a new reality: caring for their aged parents. This can be even more difficult with toxic or non-affirming parents. You may not be on the hook for physical care, but what are your financial responsibilities as offspring? Understanding the legal landscape of filial responsibility can help you be better prepared.

Long-Term Care Expenses

Eldercare costs vary, but they can add up quickly. To help you put this into perspective, take a look at these statistics from the U.S. Administration on Aging:

• Nursing homes’ monthly costs: $6,844 to $7,698
• Monthly cost for assisted living facilities: $3,628
• Health aides: $20.50 per hour
• Personal care assistants: $20 per hour
• Adult day centers: $68 per day

These are just average figures, but they illustrate how costly elder care can become. U.S. News contributor David Levine adds that someone who’s 65 today has a nearly 70% chance of needing long-term care. What’s more, about 20% of older people need long-term care for five years or more. For instance, nursing home care for a 70-year-old person can cost $92,376 per year. Over five years, that adds up to $461,880. That’s nearly double the median home value in several states.

State Laws and Parental Support

Caring for the aged is a priority in many cultures. England’s Poor Relief Act of 1601 called for the elderly poor to be cared for in almshouses. While there is no federal law calling for children to financially support their parents, several states have enacted filial responsibility laws. As estate planning attorney Julie Garber explains, these laws place financial responsibility for elderly parents’ care on their adult children – usually if the parents can’t pay for that care on their own. As of 2020, 26 states plus Puerto Rico have such laws on the books.

The scope of these laws can vary. Some states, like Arkansas, only require adult children to pay for mental health care. Nevada only holds offspring accountable if they’ve signed a written promise to fund their parents’ care.

Understanding Legal Obligations

Currently, Pennsylvania is the only state that actively enforces filial support laws. Most other states don’t. That’s because indigent elderly parents often rely on Medicaid, as attorney Valerie Keene explains. These laws might only apply if a parent can’t qualify for Medicaid, isn’t able to pay for care, and the adult children are judged to have sufficient means to pay.

With that said, you should know where you legally stand regarding your parents’ care expenses. This is especially true if you’re estranged from them, perhaps with limited or no contact. Check your state laws. You may be off the hook in certain situations:

• You receive government assistance.
• Your household income is below a certain threshold.
• You have significant medical expenses of your own.
• You’re paying for a dependent’s education.
• Your parent abused or abandoned you as a child.

You’ll need adequate documentation – bills, financial statements, or benefit letters, for example. Consider working with an eldercare attorney. This professional can help you navigate your state’s laws and develop a plan that protects you and sees to your parent’s needs.

What’s Best for You and Your Family

Caring for elderly parents presents complex issues. That’s even more true when you don’t have a positive, loving relationship with them. Even if they don’t affirm your identity and you’ve gone no-contact, you should still know what the filial responsibility laws in your state may expect of you. Keeping good documentation and enlisting an attorney’s help are wises moves that can provide peace of mind.