Your wedding’s guest count controls everything from the venues you select to your food budget to the number of invitations you need to send. You already know that nailing your numbers early is essential to planning your event, but how can you accomplish this goal when you can’t narrow down your guest list? What about those friends whom you know won’t RSVP but are guaranteed to show up at the last minute? Fortunately, you can conquer these challenges and more by following some smart tips for your guest list and numbers.

Who Makes the Cut on Your Guest List? 

Drafting your guest list can present its own challenges, especially when you and your partner can’t agree on who to invite or your parents want to bring their own crowds. Unsupportive people in your family or social circle can make your job even more difficult.  Nevertheless, you must solve these problems before you book any venues, choose your officiant, or contract with vendors. If you’re the ones footing the bill, developing an initial draft budget can help put things into perspective, guiding you in selecting your venues and tailoring your numbers based on their guest capacities. Following this strategy can also help limit how many extra people your parents try to include.

As for unsupportive family and acquaintances, take the diplomatic approach of following the wishes of whomever’s paying. Unfortunately, you may end up butting heads with your folks about leaving certain individuals off the guest list. On the other hand, Huffington Post contributor and wedding planner Sandy Malone argues that you should forgo inviting these people altogether. Additionally, Malone suggests other categories of people you don’t need to invite:

• Former partners or significant others
• Most, if not all, of your coworkers
• “Revenge plus-ones,” or people your parents and friends want to bring just to make someone else uncomfortable
• Friends and acquaintances who have difficulty controlling their alcohol consumption

What Should We Do About Non-Responders?

You’ve narrowed down your guest list, chosen your invitations with care, and sent the invites at least six weeks before the big day. The Knot explains that your RSVP deadline should be set around two to three weeks prior to your wedding, but you’re bound to have a few non-responders. Follow up with a quick phone call or email encouraging them to drop their response card in the mail. The Emily Post Institute suggests some polite language you can use when you contact these individuals. If you receive additional RSVPs from guests tacking on uninvited plus-ones, you should explain to them firmly and diplomatically that you won’t have the space to accommodate their extras.

How To Handle Missing or Extra Guests on the Big Day

You’ve done your due diligence by sending your invitations early and contacting non-responders, but it’s time to turn in a finalized guest count to your vendors and you still haven’t heard from a few people on your list. What do you do? One option is leaving some open spots at a few tables to accommodate unexpected guests. It’s also a good idea to collaborate with your caterer and reception venue on a plan for handling extras. For people who RSVP but don’t show, your vendor’s staff can discreetly remove their place settings and seats.

Relax! You’ve Got This

As many wedding experts are quick to remind us, things can and do go wrong on the big day. Challenges in finalizing your wedding’s guest count can make you feel as if you’re trying to herd cats. However, staying prepared can help avert most problems. Setting your numbers early, following up with non-responders, and working with your vendors to plan for missing or extra attendees are all smart moves for effectively managing your numbers for your wedding.