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Setting Healthy Boundaries in a Relationship

A gay couple setting healthy boundaries while at a restaurant.

For any relationship to work, it is important that you understand and set boundaries. Many people assume that boundaries aren’t for romantic relationships because they restrict interactions. In fact, the opposite is true. When you draw healthy lines, it can help your relationship grow in a way that is useful for both of you. Unfortunately, this isn’t easy for everyone to do and adhere to. It takes practice to understand what your restrictions are and how you need your partner to respect them. Setting healthy boundaries is all about understanding the overall importance of the task. If you need assistance with this goal, consider these tips and discover the right answer for you.

Confidence Is Key

One of the biggest reasons to think about setting healthy boundaries in a relationship is because doing so helps to instill a sense of confidence in the individual. Whether or not most people like to admit it, many relationships can quickly become one-sided. When you are constantly looking to your significant other to make big decisions or to see how he or she reacts to a scenario before you offer input, it means you are holding back for another person. A relationship without boundaries can easily turn into a situation where one person calls all the shots.

By thinking about your boundaries, you are taking responsibility for your own happiness. This is because you have drawn a line that says you do not need to look to your significant other for guidance or reassurance. Though it can be scary at first, creating a defined boundary in this way can help establish the sense of confidence you require to feel complete without constantly being around your partner.

Not Only Extreme Situations

Boundaries are often defined by previous relationships. If you had a former partner who was constantly jealous and restricted you from hanging out with your friends, then you might feel uncomfortable around potential romantic partners who have controlling personalities. When you enter a new relationship, you have the opportunity to explain to your new partner why you are creating a boundary and how your previous relationship made you feel.

Of course, not all of the restrictions you set are going to be born of extreme situations. In a number of cases, you may wish to draw a line because certain actions make you uncomfortable. For example, you might not like it when someone uses your phone without your permission or makes plans without consulting you. This could simply be a personal preference rather than a conditioned response created from a previous relationship. Still, a partner who fails to adhere to your requests might make you feel as frustrated as someone who crossed a more extreme line. Big or small, your boundaries should all be treated with respect.

Both Ways

Finally, don’t forget that boundaries work both ways. You cannot expect your partner to respect the lines you draw when you are not doing the same. In order for the relationship to be balanced and healthy, both of you need to define and respect the rules that have been created. There might be some trial and error involved at first, so be sure to communicate often. This will help you both discover a balance that works and allows your relationship to thrive.

Setting healthy boundaries is key for any relationship to survive in the current day and age. Before you enter a new romantic relationship, define your personal requirements and express your needs to your significant other. The more you both work at the arrangement, the easier it will be for you to get what you need from the connection and to see your relationship thrive.

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