For both gay and straight couples, starting a family represents a major milestone in their union. Whereas some straight couples may find themselves starting a family earlier than planned, this is almost never true for same-sex unions. Family planning requires serious consideration for a gay couple. The typical means of having children is not yet available to same-sex parents, requiring research, planning and savings for partners exploring every available option for children. Here are a few considerations that same-sex couples looking at starting a family should be aware of.

Growing Your Family Through Adoption

Several options for building a family are available to gay couples through either adoption or surrogacy. Adoptions range from as little as $0 for a foster care adoption up to $40,000+ for other types. Legal fees and in-home studies as well as caring for the birth mother can contribute to the expenses. Here are the expected costs for various adoptions, according to FindLaw:

• Foster Care: $0 to $2,500
• Licensed Private Agency: $5,000 to $40,000+
• Independent: $8,000 to $40,000+
• Facilitated/Unlicensed: $5,000 to $40,000+
• International: $7,000 to $30,000+

Various factors shape the cost to adopt, such as the type, the placement agency, the child’s age, and other details. Couples can expect to pay for in-home studies to assess their fitness as parents and match them with a child. Adoptions are formalized in a court of law, so prospective parents can expect to pay legal fees. Adoptions may be prohibitively expensive, but grants are available to help defray costs.

Exploring Surrogacy

For gay partners who want to have biological children, a number of surrogacy options are also available. Surrogacy is considerably more expensive, ranging from $150,000 to $240,000 per child. Parenthood through this route is achieved either through artificial insemination or in vitro fertilization.

• Artificial insemination: Sometimes referred to as the “turkey-baster method,” it involves targeting the mother-to-be’s egg with sperm from a donor or the father-to-be.
• In vitro fertilization: The egg and sperm are fertilized outside of a womb from donors or intended parents and then implanted into a mother-to-be or a surrogate mother. This is sometimes called the “test tube method.”

In either situation, one parent won’t be biologically related to the child, so this is something a couple should carefully consider and prepare themselves for. As with adoptions, there are also resources to help fund costs associated with reproductive technology.

Filing for Second-Parent Adoption

While the law may be clear on same-sex marriages, various states have different laws regarding same-sex parent adoptions. Some states intentionally or unintentionally do not allow for birth certificates showing two parents of the same gender. To work around this, one parent can petition for adopting a child while the other files for a second-parent adoption of the same child. The cost for second-parent adoptions runs from $2,000 to $3,000 usually.

Counting Other Costs

Gay couples should also consider the following when deciding to start a family:

• Tax implications: There are tax benefits and credits available for families with dependents, but these will be impacted by household income.
• Health insurance: Some plans include limited coverage for family planning.
• Actual costs of raising children: Food, clothing and shelter are certainly ongoing expenses to consider, but childcare is also a major expense, whether you’re considering full-time daycare or after-school programs.

Family planning can be really complicated for gay couples. Consider hiring the services of a family planner or attorney who can help you navigate rules and regulations when it comes to adoption, surrogacy and other matters related to starting a family.

With society’s laws and attitudes regarding LGBTQ+ families evolving, more queer couples are marrying and beginning to start their own families. For partners of any sexual orientation, the decision to have children shouldn’t be taken lightly. Still, same-sex spouses will have to consider certain issues that their straight counterparts won’t. Careful planning, research and saving is a must for same-sex couples starting a family.