Moving in with a significant other is a big step. Whether you’re getting married or you want to cohabitate before making an engagement official, understanding the ins and outs of sharing a space can be exhausting. You each have your own rhythm in how you go about your daily rituals. Having another person in your immediate proximity can both complicate and frustrate matters. One of the biggest points of contention for couples has to do with the division of chores. Establishing healthy patterns and evenly distributing chores early can be helpful for the bigger picture. Though they can cause fights and unspoken anger, household responsibilities need to be tackled. Use these tips for learning to divide household chores in a healthy and productive way.

Air Your Grievances 

If you have been living with your partner for a short amount of time already, then you may already have some feelings about the current arrangement. When you notice frustration about your partner’s towels on the floor or dishes that have been left in the sink for too long, it is time to air your grievances. Before you can expect to tackle and divide household tasks together, you need to be honest about what bothers you. Both of you need to be open and accept the criticism your partner is providing in a healthy way.

Plenty of couples allow frustrations to fester. While it might seem like mentioning a minor issue can upset the comfortable balance of your relationship, waiting too long will cause far more problems in the long run. Clear the air to move forward in a stronger way.

Create a List of All Chores

Defining the specific jobs that need to be handled around the house on a regular basis is also key to establishing a plan. There are easy ones like dishes, laundry, and other tasks that can’t be left for long without a problem arising. However, there are additional chores to focus on, like cleaning the windows, scrubbing the shower tile, and tending to outdoor needs like weeding. Sit down together and write out a list of all the various responsibilities associated with keeping your home functional. By doing so, you can create a comprehensive checklist to work from moving forward.

After creating the list, decide who wants to be in charge of which tasks. While you can both offer to take on certain jobs, it will work best if you divvy up chores evenly. Selecting on your own might leave one person with all the messiest and most upsetting jobs. Even distribution is about more than making sure you have the same number of tasks. It is also about balancing the work that goes into the overall process. This is crucial for learning how to divide household chores.

Stop Criticizing Each Other

Once the lists have been established you’ll each know what you’re responsible for. Now you need to allow the other to go about things as he or she desires. If it is not your job to clean out the fridge don’t criticize the way your partner does it. You end up creating problems where none should exist. Learn to accept the way your significant other goes about tasks and dedicate your own energy to the jobs you have taken on. In the end, your stress levels will drop significantly by learning to let go.

Moving in with a significant other can be a very interesting experience with plenty of bumps. Though household responsibilities might cause lots of strife for couples, creating a sensible system for tackling them is not very difficult. Find a process that works for your living situation and learn how you can make cohabitation work without losing your minds in the process.