All families have a few members who can be very difficult to deal with. While you may feel fine swallowing your pride and holding your tongue when encountering these individuals under normal circumstances, your wedding is a very different type of event. You want to be in your best mood when your special day arrives. If certain people in your life are a bit too toxic to allow you the peace you’ll need, you should put together a plan for how to handle these problematic family members in advance.

Don’t Invite Them

Though this advice might not work for everyone, your best bet is to not invite people who are toxic or problematic. For same-sex couples, this comes up a lot. If a member of someone’s family “doesn’t agree” with an LGBT wedding, then you definitely shouldn’t be inviting them to celebrate with you. Sure, it might seem nice to be the bigger person, but why should you pay for the meal and drinks for a person who doesn’t respect your relationship?  

Remember, excluding a family member from an event has repercussions. As long as you’re able to deal with whatever consequences spring from your decision, feel free to forego invitations to anyone you’d rather not have present.

Make Interactions Brief

On your wedding day, you will have so many different thoughts swirling through your mind that it will be difficult to focus on a few toxic guests. Still, you want to make sure you limit your interactions with anyone who might cause a negative stir. Since it is customary for couples to speak with all guests in at least some capacity during the event, have an “exit strategy” for when you’ll be saying hello to the people who can cause you concern. 

Have Preliminary Conversations

There are plenty of circumstances in which bad blood develops between family members because of misunderstandings or pointless grudges. If you want to enter the next phase of your life with a clean slate, it can be nice to make amends with family before your wedding. While this won’t be possible for all, the decision to fix broken bonds can have positive results. Reach out to such family members or friends and have an open discussion about repairing your relationship. If the connection can be salvaged, you’ll feel better about sending this person an invitation to the wedding.

Rely on Other Guests

Some guests can be problematic because they have known issues that can become exacerbated in social settings. Whether it’s a cousin who doesn’t know how to handle his alcohol or a friend from college who makes inappropriate and unwanted advances, you may want to reduce the odds of these people getting out of control. Since you need to focus on enjoying your big day, ask certain guests to keep an eye on things. You may also wish to bring the venue staff into the mix. Warn bartenders of which guests to cut off at the first sign of intoxication. 

Put Your Foot Down

When you’re receiving financial assistance from a relative to cover the costs of your wedding, you may feel certain obligations. A parent paying for a portion of the reception might ask you to invite specific people. While you should always be appreciative when someone is helping pay for something as expensive as a wedding, you don’t have to invite anyone you don’t want to. If it is a make-or-break condition of the financing, then it might be less taxing for you to find an alternative method of paying for your big day.

Toxic family members and friends have no place at your wedding if you don’t wish for them there. Though it might be awkward or difficult, being firm with your decision will help you feel better about this milestone in your life. You can handle even the most problematic of family members with some good preparation.